Before you were born, I couldn’t really imagine actually having you in my arms, even though I dreamed it a thousand times. And then when you were there, it was impossible to imagine you being anything but a sleepy, snuggly newborn. Hard as I tried, I didn’t really know what it would feel like to see you laughing back at my smile until the moment came - or you walking carefully across the living room into my open arms until we were living it.
I dreamed those moments. Tried to imagine - but each time I learned that the true experience was much bigger than my heart anticipated.
These days, I daydream of holding your hand one day as we cross the street together. I dream of teaching you to do those bunny ear loops when you tie your shoes. I dream of dancing with you across our floor dressed in my old, fluffy dresses. Sometimes I try to imagine what your little girl voice will sound like.
But those days are still waiting for us. They are precious, joyful acts of living that you and I have not yet reached. and so they float unanchored in my mama heart until those tangible moments one day finds us both.